Let's Talk About Pokemon - The Charmander Family

 

4th place can't be that bad.

004: Charmander

Charmander isn't nearly that impressive for me as Bulbasaur is, sadly. It's a small cartoon lizard, and the only defining feature about it is having a tail on fire to denote its elemental affinity. It's cute I suppose, but not really in any way that makes it stand out, unlike Bulbasaur's frog-esque charm. I hate to have so little to say about a Starter Pokemon, but it's just Charmander. I wish it WAS a salamander like the English name suggests, but we got this generic little lizard guy to settle with.

A smile worth a meleon bucks.

005: Charmeleon

Once again, standard fair for Starter middle-evos. I feel like Charmeleon is a little more effective than Ivysaur, but even so it's pretty much The Cooler Charmander. It looks appropriately cocky and mean, which at least plenty mirrors its anime personality. It's an alright evolution that doesn't change it super-drastically.

Again though, the name teases me with a much cooler prospect of a creature to base it on. Charmeleon is very obviously not a chameleon at all, and it would've been way more interesting if it did pick up more chameleon-like aspects like the eyes or funky hands. But instead we get a much more regular looking lizard head and standard lizard hands.

When a little posterboy becomes a posterman.

006: Charizard

Maybe it's a combination of overexposure (That has NOT toned down one bit since I wrote the first review) and a heaping handful of schoolkid teasing that I picked the "far inferior" starter that makes me so subconsciously bitter toward Charizard but I just can't work up even a nostalgic enthusiasm for it anymore. I wouldn't go so far as to say Charizard is poorly designed, but... look at it. If you're all for simple dragon designs, don't let me ruin it for you of course, but I just don't get what the hype for it is about.

I've seen monsters like Charizard many times over the 25 years Pokemon has existed because Charizard's look is not at all hard to replicate. You can often find Charizard's so generic that it can just be replicated by total accident. There isn't really a cool twist to it in any way other than your potential closest companion gets to be a dragon. Which I get that was a rarity back in the day, but it's just far less interesting to me than a giant flowery toad or a tank of a tortoise. Had we gotten a chameleon-like dragon, I'd be at least a bit more down, but I'm just not impressed. And you can thank the constant marketing it as if it's the best-designed monster this series has to offer as to why I double down on this harder each gen by now.

I hate sounding angry at Charizard cause a lot of these circumstances aren't Charizard's fault or the fault of its designer, even. Just. Bah. It's just such a boring design and it gets more boring each time Pokemon Company wants to remind me it exists.

Personal Score: 5/10

I am going to become the ULTIMATE marketable Pokemon! This is WHO I AM!

Mega Charizard X:

It almost makes me annoyed to admit these two Megas are actually a pretty half-decent glow-up.

Of course, Gamefreak pays up in the Charizard fanservice, and it gets not one, but two Mega Evolutions. Gamefreak admitted one of the factors that helped decide which Pokemon got Mega Evolutions was that Pokemon's popularity. You know what that means? The bordeline mascot for Gen 1 itself comes in two flavors. And even then, Mega Charizard X itself looks like a big piece of fanservice. Let's take Charizard and hand it all the badass tropes. Make it black! Fire is constantly bursting out of its mouth! Wickeder horns! Not to mention it's Dragon type!! Finally!!! It's Pokemon Fanfiction in the form of a Charizard.

But I can commend it for running with it because the end result works so well. It looks like what a kid would make if they were asked to evolve Charizard to some extent, but I'll give credit where credit is due, it looks pretty badass. And me calling it fanservice isn't saying that's a bad thing. Fanservice isn't inherently bad. This is definitely “good” fanservice. At least, something must be doing it right if you're getting someone who's mostly indifferent to Charizard to like it.

My one major gripe with it is that it's wings don't look right to me. They look too small and too improperly shaped to keep Charizard up in the air. I'd say maybe that's why it ditches the Flying type but ingame it flies nonetheless.

Also, Gamefreak's probably well aware Black Charizard is among the most fan-favorite shinies, so making Mega Charizard X black feels a little on the nose. But again, it's cool so I'll let it slide.

Personal Score: 7.5/10

Missed opportunity to turn Charizard into a "Y"vern.

Mega Charizard Y:

Here is a more traditional fresh coat of paint for the old thing. It's slimmed down a bit and is given more horns and an extra set of arm-wings. It's a pretty simple Mega Evolution, arguably changing the least out of most of the Mega Evolutions, but it works for what it is. I think the most subtle improvement is the head shape. Just making it that tad bit sleeker goes miles for making it look cooler.

Personal Score: 6/10

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