I always feel like somebody's watchin' meeeee

170: Chinchou

Chinchou is one of those Pokemon that I feel is criminally under-appreciated. While maybe not my absolute ideal version of an anglerfish (which is why I still feel a hankering for one to this day, but I digress), it still uses the aesthetics of an angler in really neat ways! Definitely in the same vein as Gen 1's Pokemon that has like, one trait similar to a real-life animal, but is otherwise its own thing. Chinchou here almost portraying anglerfish in more of a fairy-like light with adorably unusual eyes and an overall cutesy appearance.

I do also like how it throws in just we LITTLE bit of frogfish. Mostly in that despite being a fish, it walks with little "leg"-like fins on the seafloor and otherwise has fairly limited movement. It's definitely an aspect befitting a deep-sea dweller. I do also like how it has a pair of anglers which almost look like a pair of eyestalks. But either way, are the kind of eyestalks you'd see on a Pikmin enemy!

I feel like the ONE thing I'd change about Chinchou is that it has a hidden "horror" side to it. I'm a sucker for creatures that appear adorable at first but turn out to be horrible monstrosities. Chinchou having a cutesy appearance but then having a huge, ravenous maw when agitated or on the hunt would be brilliant. As is, Chinchou will have to settle for a measly ALMOST perfect...

Personal Score: 9.5/10

Nice [dolphin noises] day we're having!

171: Lanturn

As you can imagine though, Lanturn completely drops the ball for me. I'm fine with chimeric creatures, and Lanturn's clearly something of a cross between an angler and dolphin or porpoise, but come ON. Chinchou was so lovably unique that I didn't nearly mind its lack of freaky angler face that much! Lanturn just feels made for much more mass-appeal, with a friendly demeanor and non-threatening vibe. Which really cheapens this being our one and only anglerfish in the series to this very day, which SUCKS.

Lanturn just lacks so much design presence compared to its pre-evolution. Chinchou at least combines angler features with other fish features in neat ways. Lanturn is just some fish that has a dangle on its head, which is SO boring. Lanturn especially could've used the "cute, but is actually monstrous" treatment, but I don't think even that could save it, really.

Lanturn feels like one of the best examples of what I mean when I make this point. Obviously, my taste in monster design isn't law, this is only my personal take-away from this sort of thing. But I do feel like a design based on an animal fails when the animal it's based on is more interesting to look at than the animal you've specifically engineered to be eye-catching and fun to look at. Lanturn's just some boring fish thing with a wholesome face and absolutely no edge to it when actual anglerfish are grotesque blobs of fish with huge mouths, filled with glass-like teeth and pale, almost soulless-looking eyes. Lanturn just feels so pedestrian by comparison.

This is framed more like a regional variant's evolution, but this not-Lanturn I've drawn once is largely what I would've done had I been given to opportunity to give Lanturn a do-over. Because MAN I'd give Lanturn a complete overhaul. More bulbous shape, keep the leg-fins from Chinchou, and maybe even keep the fish skeleton motif to get it to fit in with a more electrical aesthetic. Either way, Lanturn's BEGGING for some huge teeth.

Oh, but you want to know the REAL insult to injury?

THIS. This Pokemon was part of a line that was supposedly superseded by Chinchou and Lanturn at some point, from when Gold and Silver was still in its beta stages. LOOK at it. It's TWO of my very favorite fish COMBINED. YOU'RE telling me this gulper eel/anglerfish hybrid, a beautifully ingenius merging of two creatures that would've been a grade-A creature design, was replaced with...